1/2 year already?!?!?

I can not believe that my little boy is half a year old already. He has finally conquered the ability to sit on his own which is now what he totally prefers over being on his back or his belly. It's amazing to me how quickly everything goes... just a few days ago we were sitting close by and he would sit on his own, wobble and then tip over as we would reach out to catch him. Now he sits there on his own for minutes on end, still wobbly but not falling over! He likes to sit and reach for toys, play with toys...and giggle.

He has been trying all sorts of new foods. Zucchini, broccoli, sweet potatoes, avocado, prunes. We're going to try to make our own baby food so I've got to spend some time finding things to make and how to make them... but we've started with buying a food processor so we're well on our way!

He is still having a hard time sleeping through the night waking multiple times to nurse/be comforted. I'm hoping as we increase the amount of solid food that he eats that this will help him sleep better as I am one T-I-R-E-D momma!

It's the busy holiday season and it's so fun to have all his firsts... first time decorating the tree (he loves trying to grab the ornaments off the tree or grab for the lights). I can't wait for his first Christmas morning and I am so glad that Grammy Mar will be here to share that with us!

Every Day is Wonderful... well optimistically

My little man will be 6 months old before I know it... that's 1/2 a year! Holy Crap!! There are so many little things that are so precious so far:
When he was just born he would stretch his little body and crane his neck til he got comfortable.
He contorts his body in every possible way to be able to get his feet in his mouth.
He giggles when he sees himself in the mirror during his bath time.
In the mornings when I say "we're at billie's" he gets the biggest smile.
He wants my phone every time I'm on it... tries chewing on it.
He can play for long periods of time on his own but then he has this sound that he makes when he wants to make sure that I'm still in the room with him.
When it's nap time cuddling with my lil man on the couch is my favorite place to be.

On the days where I am so exhausted and burnt out and I just want to close my eyes and pretend I have 5 minutes of peace and quite I open my eyes and see the smile and curiosity in my little mans face and realize that I only get one shot at this thing called parenthood. That there are things that I could do/or not do for that matter, that could affect him for the rest of his life and I have to remember that he is my life now, and no matter how much I think I "need" some me time... Toby truly NEEDS me.

Life with Toby

On Monday our little man will be 5 months old. Today I saw some babies that were newborns and it's so hard to believe that he was that small at one point. It seems like ages ago, that our lives did not include Toby. But, we've adjusted and still we continue to adjust. Griffin has been amazing with Toby, he is helpful whenever he is asked, and makes Toby laugh more than any one else in the family. Toby loves his time at Gramma Billies. He laughs when I drop him off and and is laughing when I pick him up.
Sleeping Habits: He still gets up a couple times each night, often with 3 hour chunks at a time. I'm praying for the day that he sleeps for 6 hour chunk. We started rice cereal about an hour before bedtime hoping that will effect the amount/way that he sleeps. So far I don't think that it has, but maybe I'm so exhausted I don't notice. He naps like clockwork during the day though so if I want to try to take advantage of that opportunity I can.
Eating Habits: He's a strong hungry boy. He eats with a purpose and falls asleep almost every single time he eats. I'm nervous that this will come back to haunt me because eventually I won't be breastfeeding anymore and if that's what puts him to sleep and we don't do it anymore... not happy at bed time!

I'm working on trying to figure out how to get him to lay down at night without crying non stop without breast feeding him to sleep. But for my sanity, I am waiting for Tyler to get home so that we can share the crying/hard nights while we teach him how to sooth himself to sleep. I just feel like it having two parents tackling the hard stuff is going to be easier on me and stress.

There are nights as tired as I am I just sit there and watch him sleep, or when he's crying I can't help but laugh.

Rice Cereal

Tonight was Toby's first experience with rice cereal in the hopes that he will sleep for longer stretches at night. I used a bowl and a rubber covered spoon and got it all ready to go. Toby took right to it. He in fact got mad when when the spoon didn't get to his mouth quick enough! Tyler was underway so we set up Skype so that he and Grammy Mar could be part of it all the way on the east coast. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he will sleep through the entire night tonight and that this will be the "magic" thing that will help him sleep longer at night. I can't believe my little guy is almost 5 months old. He has recently discovered his feet and are grabbing them and playing with them, and so excited when he realizes again that they are his feet! He loves his time at Billies and laughs when you ask him if he got to see Billie that day. He's vibrant and full of life, smart and full of personality. I think that when he's 5 years old we're gonna have a little ball of energy and challenge on our hands because he's gonna want to know about everything and go everything and be everything and explore everything. Parenthood is such a new thing every single day, and just when you think you've got it all figured out, there's something new that pops up.

Milestones

Toby rolled over from his front to his back the other day. And it struck me... how quickly these things go. Just a few months ago he was a sleeping eating little creature that was trying to figure out all the small things. To the curious little guy that he is now. When we eat dinner he tries to grab at my plate, my fork, my cup anything he can get his hands on. He wants to grab and feel and see EVERYTHING! He has started this new thing when he's in the bath. He sticks his foot as high up in the air as his little body will let him and waits for me to pour water over his foot. He will leave it in the air until I pour water over it and then he just stares at the water as it covers his foot. He cries when he's tired, he cries when he's hungry, and he cries when he thinks that maybe I forgot about him laying on his mat playing. He's got so many cute things going on right now that when it's 3 in the morning, I haven't slept for longer that 45 minute stretches because he's struggling with the sleep thing and all I want is to crawl into bed, throw the covers over my head, and sleep for about 5 hours (I would kill for 5 straight hours of sleep, this coming from a woman who used to need like 11 hours of sleep a night). Then I remember that soon he'll be asking to go ride his trike around the driveway, or wanting a ice cream bar, and my little boy will grow up to be a man before I know it. I look at Griff and I look at Toby, as I stand next to my husband, and I realize that this... this thing we call family is really the core foundation to life, to everything. That without this solid foundation in our lives, everything else becomes so much more difficult. I only wish that everyone could have a family full of love and support, and commitment to each other that I share in my family. Life is not just about what I want to do on the weekend anymore, it's not about things that a while back seemed so important... now I look at the needs of Griff and the needs of Toby and those matter so much more because I know they depend on me. Just like I depended on my parents.

Life with out the Hubby

Well I've officially survived the first week without Tyler being around. The Coast Guard has claimed him once again. Thankfully we are still able to talk on the phone while they are only in Baltimore getting the boat ready to be back in the water. Skype has been a true blessing because Tyler is able to still see Toby and Toby (though I am not sure he really fully realizes what's going on) is still able to see his daddy. I have a new found respect for single mothers truly. Realizing that I am on my own for the most part (although Griff is a tremendous help) I have so much more respect for the women, and teens that do this on their own. I am so blessed with the resources that I have, financially and emotionally that I can't imagine doing it one my own. Toby is going to be 4 months here shortly (just two more weeks) and he's growing so much every day it seems. He now sits in his play thing in the kitchen with me while I cook dinner. And he almost no longer fits in the top part of his bathtub, which when he was born he was tiny in it. Now he big ol' legs splash water all over the place and he likes to grab at the red cup that I use to scoop water in and dump on him. The other night he grabbed the empty cup from me and put it up to his mouth like he was drinking from it. It was very cute because this big ol' cup with his tiny little hands, and his precious lips trying to suck on the edge of the cup.

Parenthood truly is like nothing else in this world. My perspective at work has changed, because when I look at Toby I think about all the hopes and dreams and good things that I want for him. I had the realization one day that the students that I work with, their parents probably had the same thoughts about hopes and dreams for their kids that I work with now. It changed the way I look at the students that I work with and the approach that I want to take in my counseling techniques. As my principal Mr. Lockett says "being a parent changes everything" and boy does it ever. But I would not rather find myself on any other ride right now in life. As exhausted as I am, and as hard as it is not being at work a full day, and having to let go of so many responsibilities, and knowing that I am in fact replaceable at what I do... I look at my little Toby, and I realize I have more time with Griff and all the sudden some things don't matter as much as they did before, and it's easier to let go of things I didn't ever think I would be able to let go. Not to mention my house is a disaster, the laundry hasn't been done in days, the living room looks like world war 3 with burp rags, toys, and everything else in the house strewn across the floor and couches. But that's okay because I've got everything I need under this roof. And I have never been happier (now if I could just have my husband back from the Coast Guard sooner, than later, I would be 100% content)!

The Little Things....

There are so many moments in my day where I just want to sit and watch what my little boy does. Some of my favorite things about having him around:
1. The way he smiles as he is falling asleep, warm and bundled up with his mommy, he looks at me as his eyes drift closed and smiles. And it is a beautiful smile.
2. When he wakes up from a nap and he stretches his arms above his head but his little butt is still curved like he was sitting and he grunts little grunts as he stretches.
3. When we take him out of his swaddle in the mornings he stretches both arms over his head in a triumphant "freedom" stretch.
4. After getting up with him all night, his 5:30 am cry I nudge Ty and ask him to go get him. I listen to Toby cry as Ty changes his diaper and here they come through the door, his little head tucked into Tyler's neck as Toby is still whimpering, his little diaper is all he is wearing. He lays down next to me to eat and as he drifts back to sleep I love to just lay there and look at my little boy.
5. Watching him laugh at Griff, and watch Griff where ever he goes... but more so watching Griff play with Toby.
6. The way his little lip tucks into his mouth and his eyebrows furrow before he gets all pissed off because he is hungry.
7. Watching Toby sit on his daddy's lap, and I swear he is the happiest most content little boy I have ever seen.
8. One time we put him in the bath and he started to pee right afterward. We grabbed the towel and started to pull him out and the look that he gave Tyler we he lifted Toby out of the bath is one of those looks I would have killed to catch it on camera. He proceeded to give us his "pissed off" cry until we got the bath water switched out and put him back in the tub.
9. The way he lays in bed with us in the morning and giggles at every little thing or stares off all around him with a look of wonder and amazement at what he is seeing like he is seeing it for the first time.
10. The way he looks into my eyes while I talked to him and when he talks back. It is true genuine love.

Toby's First day of being with the Baby Sitter

So Today was the first time that I had to take Toby to Billie's. Now even though Billie is an amazing person and I am totally comfortable with her as our day care provider I couldn't help but feel the "mommy guilt" as I like to call it about leaving my little boy so I could go to work. Thank goodness I have a job that involves changing the lives of our youth or I think I would really hate myself if I was leaving my little boy instead of staying and playing with him all day. This morning Griff was such a great help by hooking Toby into his car seat and then rode with me to drop him off comforting me as I was being a crazy mom crying as we drove away. He sat in the passengers seat not making fun of me but making me laugh. I'm so lucky to have such a great 13 year old. His mother did so good with him, she raised such a kind and loving kid.

Course nothing beats coming home, pulling around the corner into our street and seeing my husband carrying my baby boy while checking the mail. So I successfully survived one of the hardest days of being a parent "SO FAR". Now to conquer working three full days this week while having my baby boy at the babysitters.

Oh and never did I think that I would find myself one day not bothered by the fact my shoulder is covered with baby spit up, I haven't had anything to eat since breakfast, and the house is a mess... but that's all okay because I'm with my family.

Almost 3 Months old ALREADY?!?!?

Toby is rapidly changing and growing into such a fun little boy. He laughs so hard when Griff talks to him and gets so excited he flings his arms and legs all over the place when he sees his daddy. He loves his bath time. Our tub for him sits on the counter in the bathroom in front of the mirror and he sits and watches himself in the mirror the entire time he is in the bath checking himself out! It's so funny. He loves to lay on his mat and play, and listen to music. I'm getting better at getting up at 1:30 in the morning and getting back to sleep when he's back to sleep. We keep the lights low and don't talk to him at all so that he gets up he eats and he goes back to sleep. Honestly some nights I won't change him in the middle of the night for fear of waking him up and him not going back to sleep, terrible I know but it's a survival instinct I think :)

Watching Tyler with Toby reaffirms so many reasons why I fell in love with him. If you would have asked me when we were dating if I would love moments like this I would have thought you were crazy. But there are moments where I can't take my eyes off of my husband and my little boy. Griff and Toby truly are two of the biggest blessings in my life and having Tyler by my side makes a huge difference when it comes to parenting.

Toby starts day care tomorrow as both Ty and I will be at work. Billie will be taking care of us for him and she is going to be amazing. Of course I'm struggling with the jitters of a first time parent getting ready to take her child to day care for the first time. Ya know, will he notice that I'm not around? Will he miss me? Will he be mad at me when I pick him up after having to work for a full day? Will I miss a big first, like his first word, or steps or anything and everything?!? But Billie is such a great person I have no fear that she will take such great care of our little man.

Finally... Life after Baby

Well, before Toby was born I had all intentions of trying to blog every day to share our experiences of having Toby in our lives. Well I failed! Life has been so hectic with family visiting, surviving having no sleep, and all the while keeping up a house hold and keeping a 13 year old occupied. So here are some things that I can remember over the last two months of having Tobuius Kenneth Jerry Thomas in our lives.
* When we first brought him home from the hospital I don't think we could put him down. It was just too amazing that this little thing came from the two of us.
*Griff stayed the first night in the hospital with us. I can't even begin to explain how much it meant to me to have Tyler and Griffin in the hospital room with me.
*I quickly learned that even though I was exhausted there were moments where I couldn't sleep because I just had to check and make sure he was okay sleeping, not to mention how fascinating it was to just sit and watch him sleep.
*I am learning that love is deeper then I had ever imagined. Not only for my child, but for everyone in my life.
*Mornings are Toby's favorite time. We lay in bed and talk and laugh with each other. Weekends in the morning are my favorite time because Tyler and I are both able to lay in bed and play with Toby between us.
*Watching Griff "walk" across the living room with Toby makes me laugh so hard my sides hurt.

Being a parent truly is something you can't fully understand until you are a parent yourself. It has already been one of the most awarding experiences of my life in the last 3 months. And I can't wait to see what the next days bring.

One Week

Well, we've almost made it. There is one more week until baby thomas is here. We are excited and ready for him to make his entrance into the world. I, sadly, have started to do the prego waddle which I suppose one week to go is not too bad to be doing the waddle. I have to stop mid walk sometimes and try to correct myself in my stride, only to realize that it is virtually impossible and that it's hopeless and that one week of prego waddling is just going to have to occur (maybe I'll try to limit how much I walk around!). The nursery is ready, there are few more "to pick up" things like baby Tylenol, some batteries for odds and ends (the bottle warmer, baby monitors, swing). But I keep reminding myself that no matter how ready we think we are we won't be. That's part of what makes parenting exciting. I think we're ready. I know we're excited. Griff sat in the baby's room last week and read his books. I can't wait until Griff sits and reads with him. There are so many "firsts" that are going to coming into our lives for the next 18 years and I'm excited to see where the journey takes us. I'm nervous about leaving work and leaving the kids I work with a week away from graduation but so blessed at the same time that the timing ended up the way it did. We couldn't have planned it to work out so well. This time next week I'll be going to bed, ready to wake up in the morning to have Baby Thomas removed from my body and introduced to the world.

The Big Day is coming up Soon!

Well today is April 25th (I still can't believe how quickly time has gone by). We've got about a month left and things all around are busy. School has been busy with the normal end of the school year stuff. Seniors starting to freak out about "the rest of their lives", other students realizing that there are only a couple weeks left in school. With all the excitement of Spring filling the halls, it's hard for me to concentrate on things at work. Normally I do pretty good through the end of the school year but this year is quite different. I keep thinking about the fact that in a month we're gonna have a little boy keeping us up at night. A little boy that poops terrible poops, and pees right as we take the diaper off. and I can't wait for all of it. Griff is getting excited even though he's not quite sure how to feel about it. Tyler is pretty funny because he asks questions that seem second nature to me from being around Zoe and Ben. I can't wait to see him with a newborn since he has no experience.

We had a doctors appointment on Friday and we talked about our birthing options and what to expect over the next couple weeks. We have an appointment in two more weeks, and then we're on to the once a week appointment until little Baby Thomas comes. We can't wait, and the excitement around our house is an awesome feeling! We got the crib, the rocking chair, and everything organized. Although I'm sure once the nesting fits hit I'll fold and refold the baby's clothes, reorganize things a million more times before the kid comes. I found myself the other day just sitting in the rocking chair staring at the crib trying to imagine what it will be like to have such a little person needing me so desperately. Being a parent changes you for sure, and has changed the way I look at life knowing that there is a little person inside of me that some day will be my age, going through life experiences as I watch on.

Almost 34 Weeks

Man has time flown by since October when we found out we were pregnant. I am almost 34 weeks along (which means we're getting closer!!). We have been seeing the doctor every two weeks and have begun the discussion of having an elective c-section. We are going back and forth on doing this instead of the whole natural birthing process. We have an appointment with Dr. Holland to discuss the pros and cons and look at getting the facts before we make a decision. I am still feeling really healthy and am truly blessed to have had such a simple pregnancy so far. Here's hoping that our baby boy is just as easy to manage! He likes to get really active and kick the heck out of me right around bed time and stays pretty active through the nights (or maybe it's just because that's the time of day that I'm actually not busy with work and life. We have decided on a name and I'm pretty excited about it. I think it will be a good strong name. We've moved into our new house and the baby's room is slowly coming together. We have all the clothes washed and the nursery is slowing coming together. We need the glider and the crib and I think we'll be as ready as we could ever be, since there is no real way of being prepared to have such an amazing thing join our family.

30 Weeks

Finally, I'm 30 weeks. I'm starting to actually "feel" pregnant. I was walking down the hallway the other day at work and passed some students and I could hear them whisper "is she pregnant or fat?". Ah the joys of working at a high school while being prego! My baby shower is this weekend and I am excited. Jenna is hosting it for me and we're having it at my Alt. Ed. Program location. My parents will be in town and my close friends to celebrate such a wonderful thing. We're moving on the 2nd which is awesome as well. We'll finally have a place to put all the stuff we've been getting from friends and family instead of in a pile in the basement. The thing I'm really excited for is that we can start buying a crib and a bookcase and stuff for the baby's room so we can start to get ready for our lovely little boy. We've decided on a name but we've also decided not to tell anyone and save that as a surprise for the day he's born so we can officially make an announcement when he decides to come!

Almost 7 Months

I was checking the calendar today after a conversation with a senior about graduation when I realized that there are only 65 days left of the school year. And I still can't believe not only how quickly this school year has flown by but how quickly and easily (knock on wood) this pregnancy has been. I truly have been blessed to have no morning sickness, no "side effects" to being pregnant. Nothing other than a growing appetite and a growing belly. Gifts from friends have trickled in. Momma Marcia sent us a box of wonderful things that make it all the more real that soon our little boy will be here.

We are still discussing names. People ask me how the "preparations" are coming along and oddly we've done nothing. We're waiting to move so perhaps once that move happens and we actually have room for the baby we'll start making preparations. Suppose we should buy a crib and stuff soon but I don't want to buy stuff and then have to move it. Better to only move it once right!

6 Months

So I reached six months prego last Wednesday. Or 24 weeks how ever you want to look at it since it seems pregnancy/early years of a child's life is measured in weeks/months, not any other length of time. We have another doctors appointment this Thursday with Dr. Holland. It's hard to believe that it's been 4 weeks since we found out we're having a little boy. We've tossed around a few ideas for names. Tyler really wants to keep the T.T. tradition with names. Like Torin, or Tyson, or Trevor (we don't actually like any of those names it's just examples). The only thing we have decided on is the middle name... will be Baby Ski Jerry Thomas. Now we just have to come up with a first name. I'm more of a unique name type of person more so than a classic name type. I want a name that can be long or short like William/Will. But we have yet to find the perfect name that fits our baby and our family.

My boss has forced me to reduce my hours at work because he was concerned about the hours that I was putting in. Which I am truly blessed to have a boss that cares about and looks after the well being of his employees. I have always had a flexible schedule but after he sat me down in my office and talked about my health and the health of my baby I feel like I've been given permission to go home early when I'm exhausted or not feeling well. So now I can come in when I feel like it or leave early when I need to as long as my work load is being done and I'm passing some things off and sharing responsibility.

We haven't bought anything for the baby yet because we're waiting to get moved before buying stuff. That way when we move we don't have to move all that stuff with us. Hopefully we'll get moved sometime soon so we can unpack and get settled and begin to try to put together some type of nursery. We won't be able to paint or really decorate the room because there is the chance that we will have to move again next June so the crib set will be the expressive part of the nursery!

The "Big" Ultrasound

We finally were able to make the point in our pregnancy where we got to actually spend some time in the Ultrasound room. This was our 3rd ultrasound of the pregnancy, due to some pretty frequent and substantial cramping in the first 8 weeks, the doc gave us an ultrasound then just to show that there was something there. The next ultrasound was because we couldn't find the heart beat, so to calm my nerves we again got to see the ultrasound at 13 weeks. The baby was healthy and looked normal to the doctor. There were 4 chambers to the heart, separation of the left and right parts to the brain, no signs of a cleft lip/pallet, and no major other physical ailments to be seen (knowing of course this does not guarantee a 100% healthy baby.)

Having the ultrasound made the pregnancy so much more real to me. Besides my growing waste line and some fatigue I have had no other side effects or changes as a result of the pregnancy. So actually seeing the baby move its jaw, and appear to be moving it's hand to it's mouth made the lil' thing seem so much more human. Griff and Tyler came along to the appointment and Griff was pretty excited (even though he was trying to act all tough about it). We are happy and excited about the gender of the baby, as it's what I expected it to be all along. Griff was so excited he came straight home and posted it on his face book, which I had to log on and take off because we're waiting for Tylers mother to get a package we put together for her, since it's her first time being a grandmother we wanted to try to make the reveling of the gender special for her.

I can feel the baby moving now, which I must say is the oddest sensation in the world and sometimes catches me off guard when I'm working with a student. Now that we know what we're having I feel like I can start to prepare so much better. Tyler bought a changing table from a coast guard friend and we're planning on getting the crib soon. Slowly things will fall into place. Now we're just waiting to be able to move into a house so we can actually have a room to put the baby into. Hopefully things fall into place sooner rather than later!

Halfway Point

Well, I made it... to the half way point that is. Sage told me yesterday that this is the fastest pregnancy ever and all I could think about was putting into perspective with the school year. I mean yeah we're almost into the 2nd semester already, pretty soon it will be summer. I'm doing amazing with work, not being over exhausted or effected at all by the pregnancy at all, other than being extremely scatter brained, forgetful, and more emotional then normal. Which that part is the hardest for me, choking back tears when working with a kid doesn't really help the counseling process but maybe it's got perks that weren't included in my counselor training. We find out a week from tomorrow what we're having hopefully so we can start planning... names, clothes, baby showers... all the fun once in a life time when it's your first baby experiences (will be my last baby by the way!).

3rd Doctors Appointment

So we had our third doctors appointment on January 4th. It was a very uneventful appointment. Tyler is underway so it was just me that went to the appointment. The doctor let me listen to the heart beat through the Doppler and we talked about if we wanted to do testing to check for abnormalities in the fetus. I also set an appointment for the 21st of January to do our 20 week ultrasound (although I'll be 21 weeks at that point). Hopefully the baby will be immodest enough to show up what the gender is.

So for now just continuing to put on weight. I've gained 6 pounds since my first appointment but 9 pounds since the end of August. The doc says I'm right on track for weight gain and that I should gain 10 more pounds by the end of the pregnancy. Of course I'm not excited about the weight gain but it'll just be more to take care of once the baby is born.